Practice Giving Thanks

Feeling thankful is great. Expressing our gratitude to others and to God is even better, because it can deepen those relationship bonds.

Feeling thankful isn’t an obscure concept for most of us. The United States and at least sixteen other countries celebrate some version of a Thanksgiving holiday. As a child who loved to eat, I always looked forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas as our only true feasts of the year. I was grateful for both mashed potatoes and stuffing that didn’t come out of a box, along with enough homemade gravy to pour over everything.

Of course, thanksgiving is most beneficial when it isn’t just a once-a-year activity. Research shows that the habit of reflecting upon and listing what we are thankful for can help create an “attitude of gratitude” that can play a key role in our emotional, spiritual, and even physical health. Today, gratitude journals abound, both in stores and online, meaning that many of us at least intend to take up the practice. I must confess that the one gratitude journal I purchased remains largely blank, although I sometimes create lists of blessings in my spiritual journal.

Although reflecting and recording our gratitude is important, I believe that the practice of actually “giving thanks” to others can help create a transformational impact on our relationships. Think about the last time someone genuinely expressed appreciation for who you are or something you did? How did that make you feel? Have you ever received a note that you saved and reread anytime you needed to boost your confidence? Or an uplifting conversation that you replayed over and over in your mind? Imagine what could happen to our world if a lot of us began to regularly give thanks to those around us. Gathering of many kinds might spontaneously spring up, attracting people to such affirming, loving environments.

I am not alone in these thoughts. In his book, Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer, David Steindl-Rast not only sees all prayer as essentially an act of gratitude. He also asserts that in all relationships, “the greatest gift one can give is thanksgiving.” He goes on to write:

“In giving gifts, we give what we can spare, but in giving thanks we give ourselves. One who says ‘Thank you’ to another really says, “We belong together.’ Giver and thanksgiver belong together. The bond that unites them frees them from alienation. Does our society suffer from so much alienation because we fail to cultivate gratefulness?”

The above passage made me wonder: Is giving thanks just another worthy idea to try or is it essential to the success of any regathering effort? The opportunities to practice gratitude in our daily lives are unlimited, plus each act takes little effort compared to its impact.

Each small step in this direction can become habit-forming (in a good way). Years ago, I took a moment to make eye contact with the person bagging my groceries and offered a sincere thank you. I remember him first reacting with some surprise (like this was a rare experience), then appreciation. Now, when I’m not too caught up in my own thoughts, I try to offer some words of gratitude in all my retail experiences and beyond.

Although saying “thank you” is a good start, the more specific we can be in why we are grateful, the better. Our appreciation can take many forms (a call, note, flowers, small gift), but generally a simple complement delivered in person works great. Ideally, whenever we start to feel thankful, we should consider expressing those thoughts to those responsible.

Take a moment right now to think about giving thanks and pay attention to what people come to mind. Choose one person and take action. Feel free to share your thoughts and/or experiences in the comment section below.

Patrick Klingaman