Efforts to reconnect don’t always need to be in-person or via technology. Sometimes relationships can be enhanced by simple pen and paper.
Have you ever received an uplifting note, letter, or card from someone that made you feel so good about yourself that you saved it?
A few thoughtful sentences expressing appreciation for something you did or recognition for one of your traits they admire can help turn around even a terrible day. Plus, those words often live on inside us long after the note is gone. It is a great gift.
Outside of love messages from my wife, I’ve received a ton of incredible note cards over the years from distant relatives, people from work, and from those responding to my writing and/or teaching. I haven’t gathered them all into one pile yet, but I keep finding them nearly every time I sort through old paperwork. Although often buried and misplaced, I’ve never consciously thrown out any of them. They are too precious.
Given my lifetime of writing, I should have successfully embraced this practice by now. Sadly, no. Although I’ve sent a number of letters and cards over the years, these were mainly updates on my world, adding an occasional question like “how are you doing?” The decades of letters I exchanged with my father provided detailed analysis of the weather and sports but little of any depth.
Writing notes can be as beneficial as receiving them.
I wasn’t inspired to address this shortcoming until I read Carrie Pierce’s book, Handwritten Notes: Learn How a Small, Powerful Act Can Enrich Your Life. Besides the useful tips, she brilliantly outlines the benefits of writing notes, both for the sender and the recipient. For example, when we are feeling lonely, we might wish for someone to send us a heartwarming message. But, according to Carrie Pierce, “The best way to get out of this lonely cycle of self-doubt is to spend time, and I mean a LOT of time, thinking of others. Preparing to write notes creates an almost ritualistic, concrete process to do this.”
Writing personal notes by hand can be a meaningful way to more deeply connect with others. Although emails and text messages certainly have value, handwritten letters are often saved and reread for many years. Talk about making an impact on someone’s life!
I wish I could say that these notes are quick and easy to write. They are not. For those of us with busy schedules, it can be a struggle to think about another person for long enough to write something complementary and thoughtful. If this is you, consider starting out with a sentence or two on a birthday or other greeting card.
For more tips and ideas, I highly recommend you read Carrie’s practical, highly readable, and concise book (just 125 pages!). Plus, if any you have any experiences or tips to share, please do so in the comment section below. Thank you!
Patrick Klingaman
The Regathering Project: Let's Transform the World, One Relationship at a Time 